(Article unfinished: author hit with poison dart). The theory of intervention buy the Chinese government is just speculation a this time, but you'd have to be an idiot to not see the obvio. This would account for the 30 minutes of silence that follow the second track, and precede the last 2 minutes 34 seconds of the final track. Since Joel was living in China at the time of recording, it is believed the Chinese government censored all of the anti-communist imagery. His second solo album " Tiananmen" was named after the square in China, despite there being no mention of it in the album. His most famous song was the well known (in Guildford) White Wedding, a controversial yet alluring song about marrying his sister, then spending the honeymoon humping away in New Mexico, which isn't that far from the World Famous, "We'll vomit all ova' ya'!" brothel, often thought to be the birthplace of Nuckworth Chorley. His other well-known songs include the runaway hit Scenes from an Iraqi Restroom which deals with the acute shortage of toilet paper in Iraq. The song featured Dr Dre and Weird Al Yankovic and also helped launch each of their solo careers. With them he released his first Worldwide Number One Hit Give me my Piano, Man. Phwoar!īilly Joel then proceeds to name random places and people that made an impact on society between 1949 AD and 1989 AD.īilly was signed to his first contract at 7 years old by Purple Hat Records. While previously it had been stated that: "only a faggot can play piano that good" (see: Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Rufus Wainright, Tchaikovsky and Liberace) Billy Joel proved this urban myth wrong by shagging supermodel Christie Brinkley. If he screwed up at any time, Little Richard would make his ears bleed by screaming into them. The correct keys would light up on the piano when Billy Joel was practicing and over time this caused him to develop an innate sense of the right key to hit at any moment, resulting in him being ridiculously good at playing. Thus, Boxing was invented.īilly Joel and the Magic Piano Dungeon Īt a young age Billy Joel was kidnapped by Little Richard and The Ghost of Chopin who locked him in a dungeon below the streets of New York with nothing but a piano for 6 years. Joel did NOT like this so one day he challenged him to a fist fight and as they were about to fight Joel nailed Captain Jack Asse with the jars killing him instantly. Captain Jack Asse later would call him names such as "Rusty Pickle Farts" and "Smells Like Gay Spirit". While sailing on the seas of "Blixandixanpixanwixansixanlixanbixer" Joel was trying to get the last two pickles out of 2 separate jars when he had gotten his hands stuck. He later realized how big of Bu** Sh*t it was and that he'd convert to "I Can't Believe Your Not Religious!" (the company that invented "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!") He served as a monk for 30 generations until he decided he'd create his own religion called "I can't believe you didn't start the fire" which later in his career he'd sing a song entitled "We Didn't Start Your Mother" it had sold over 2 copies! and later was named one of the most absolute WORST pieces of crap in 1988, he later decided he'd turn into the big foot and grow ALL the hair on his body out.starting with his face. Joel was born in Leningrad, Russia where he was raised to cherish the small little Buddha looking dog that they worshiped so well. 3 Billy Joel and the Magic Piano Dungeon.